


What Remains

by odinstark



Series: Loyalty and Magic [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: All Of Camelot Is In Love With Merlin (Merlin), Confessions, Depression, Leon Cares About Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Merlin Angst (Merlin), Merlin Has No Shame (Merlin), Merlin's Scar Reveal (Merlin), Platonic Bathing?, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Pneumonia, Pre-Relationship, Sad and Happy, Sharing Clothes, Soup and Tea and Soul Healing, Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 19:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20999978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odinstark/pseuds/odinstark
Summary: a flashback to before their admission, to the beginning.





	What Remains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crispytins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispytins/gifts).

Leon watched, as he always did. The knights performed their drills in unison, each hit was echoed by another's sword, another target. Leon got some sort of pleasure out of the melody the training produced, sword against metal, against cloth, against wood. It was a tune nature never intended to be invented, but there was something deeply satisfying about it.

He had taken over Arthur's duties with training the knights after the blonde had been crowned king, no longer had he the time to train as long and as hard everyday under the gruelling sun, sweating profusely as all the men around him were as he did when he was still crown prince.

Merlin, however, didn't seem to catch the memo. He watched from the side lines, his eyes swooping over the knights faces, like he was watching for something specific. Leon began to think that Arthur's old schedule was so ingrained into his mind, that the dark haired man was looking for the king in a face present.

That was until the servant's gaze landed on him and he beamed brighter than any star Leon had ever seen. He bounded over to the First Knight, skidding to a halt a foot or so away from the man, his smile still shining.

"Merlin!" Leon greeted warmly, his hand subconsciously gripping around his pommel on his belt, but his eyes narrowed as his gaze travelled from Merlin's neck and down his body as something caught his attention, 

"Are those new clothes?"

Merlin's face glows a soft rose colour, but Leon isn't sure if it's from his question or the sweltering heat.

"Yeah," he answers as he spins around, letting the hem of his new long coat fly out around him like a dress skirt, the soft brown contrasting with the sapphire blue of his new shirt, and without his usual neckerchief, Leon can see the strings loosely tied together, exposing pale skin, that is normally hidden away,

"Gwen made me some, you like?"

Leon is almost spellbound for a second, by a hidden force as Merlin's comes to a swaying stop in front of his eyes, but a particularly loud sword clanging snaps him out of it.

"They are quite dashing," again, Leon isn't sure if the red he sees on Merlin's face is reflected on his own,

"But I'm not quite sure how you're managing to wear a coat in this heat."

Merlin laughs, a soft sound cutting through the roughness of the groans of pain and heat the knights are emitting, 

"It's made from some new material that envoy from King Mathesia sent, Gwen says it's good for keeping you cool and not keeping in heat like most of ours. I guess that's why it's so popular in Spain."

Leon nodded, thinking about the cost of such a material and a little part of his brain told him that Gwen wasn't the only one that wanted Merlin to have some new clothes.

"Well as I said, they are quite nice. I must see to getting some of this for myself."

Merlin grinned and cupped a hand around his mouth in conspiratorial way, raising his eyebrows at Leon and the group of their friends, who trained on the furthest edge of the knights,

"Between you and me, I think Gwen has plans to make all of you shirts from it for Midsummer's presents, but you didn't hear that from me."

Leon tapped the side of his nose and Merlin grinned again before excusing himself, before Arthur tore the training ground apart looking for him. 

Leon watched him walk away, the coat swaying in the sudden breeze and the material almost seemed to shimmer gold.

_"Oh, I see you in your cobra nest_  
_All dressed up in your Sunday best,_  
_ In the opal morning light_  
_ See your gun there, shining bright_  
_ Shining bright." _

The next time he saw Merlin, he was a different man. Curled in on himself, like a child hiding away, soaked to the bone and shivering like it was the only thing he knew how to do. 

"Merlin! " he exclaimed softly, detaching his cloak from his shoulders and wrapping it around the slight frame of the man, a hundred things running through his mind on loop.

Was he hurt? What happened? How long had he been sitting here? How cold must he be?

"Leon..." Merlin replied as he looked up, startled at the noise and and warm heat around his back, his face drenched in water. He fell silent as the Knight began to look at him in concern.

But Leon had seen enough thunderstorms to know not all of it was raindrops. 

"Come on, we must get you out of this rain and into the warm before you get sick," Leon attempted to guide Merlin to his feet, but the man simply could not support his sodden weight on his shaking legs so Leon tucked an arm around his back and under his knees, holding him reassuringly against his chest.

He just wished he wasn't wearing his cold, heat leaching chainmail, so that Merlin could feed off of his bodyheat. 

Leon's chambers were closer and he carefully lowered the sopping Merlin into one of his chairs before he returned to the corridor to catch the servant he saw turning the corner before, asking him to bring a hot bath to his rooms as quick as he could. Perhaps the servant saw the desperation in his eyes or maybe he had caught sight of Merlin but the bath was there within minutes.

Leon hesitantly began to remove Merlin's icy cold clothes but with his numb nod of consent, Leon had him stripped and in the bubbly, hot bath within a few moments.

The skin not submerged in the water was still ice cold under Leon's fingers so he dipped a cloth into the bath and ran it softly up and down Merlin's upper arm, his shoulders and his neck. The man was unresponsive the whole time and if he didn't begin to return to a normal temperature, Leon was sure he would have began to panic and call for Gaius, under the assumption Merlin was deep set into pneumonia. 

But he didn't shy away from Leon's touch, no matter his silence. He rolled up his sleeves and dived into the water to grab Merlin's hand, to scrub away the dirt they had gained from his battlement sit. Merlin still stared forward.

He gave the man a few minutes privacy to change into the clothes he had left for him, no matter the fact everything was just previously exposed to him. While Merlin stared at the clothes in front of him, a soft towel wrapped around his waist and one around his head, Leon set about to boil a kettle and make tea for them.

A knock disturbed his his thoughts and he answered the door, after setting the pot to simmer. 

It was the servant from before with another he recognised to be apart of the kitchen staff, carrying a tray with a pot of hot soup, a loaf of bread which was still warm of the inside and some cheese.

"For Merlin," they said. Leon was glad so many people cared about the man. And he was glad he was one of them.

He thanked them quietly and promised in his head to reward them later on, after he had dealt with Merlin. 

He cut the bread and left it beside the bowl of soup he had poured, a thick broth full of vegetables and pulses. Merlin emerged from behind the privacy screen, the shirt Leon had give him hanging loosely against his slimmer torso but at least the trousers had fit him, more or less. 

Leon ushered him into a chain and poured tea from the kettle that hung over the roaring fire, which also dried Merlin's sodding clothes and boots. With the cup pressed into his hand, the servant knew nothing but to drink it as he watched Leon do the same.

Leon began eating and so did Merlin, even down to dipping his bread into the bowl. At least he was eating, Leon thought, eating slower than his usual pace because he knew as soon as he was done, Merlin wouldn't lift his spoon again. But soon he ran out of soup.

"Merlin..?" the man didn't answer the knight's prodding, too busy swirling his tea in his mug, watching the liquid splash against the sides,

"You could have gotten sick."

Merlin frowned and picked up his spoon again, but still only tracing patterns in the broth's surface,

"Then I would have gotten better."

Leon didn't let the shock of Merlin's new found voice and bitterness get at him. He just reached across the table and grasped Merlin's forearm in his hand gently, pleading with him,

"You could have gotten _really _sick."

Merlin stuffed a piece of bread into his own mouth, hoping the mush would glue his teeth together. It didn't.

"I'm not going to ask, if you don't want to tell me why you were up there. What you were doing...I just want to make sure no one has hurt you?"

Merlin knew at that point, that Leon wasn't taking about hidden bruises or bloody noses. It was about the tens if not hundred of scars, of varying sizes, littered across his body.

"Nobody but myself," he deflected, feeling the softness of Leon's thumb skate over the rough scar tissue on the back of forearm.

"How about here?" Leon pointed to the side of his own skull.

The storm rumbled on outside the windows, lightning cracking the sky in half.

"The same," he answered softly, feeling all of the fight and energy go out of him. And he felt the rain on his face again.

Leon wrapped his arms around the servant and guided him to the bed, wiping the tears from his face. He tucked Merlin under the covers, and ran his hand through the man's hair reassuringly until his eyes closed. He began to gently roll off of the bed, to sleep in the antechamber, when a voice stopped him.

"Stay. Please." 

And he couldn't say no.

Leon slept on top the covers, his arm resting in the dip of Merlin's stomach. As Merlin drifted off for real this time, Leon pressed a lingering kiss into the back of Merlin's skull.

_"_ _Now the storm is on its way_

_C_ _oming here to break the day_

_Steaming rain_

_Oh, you go shoot me down_

_Take my halo, yoke and crown_

_Yoke and crown."_


End file.
